Gay Marriage

So, you know, people don't know gays, so they are against gay marriage. Unbelievable. I mean, after 9/11, that's something that you're gonna fuckin' worry about now? You need a hobby! Because of the list of things we need to worry about gay marriage is on page six right after, "Are we eating too much garlic as a people?" Boy, it freaks our PM Harper out, the gay marriage thing. Oh! He went around the corner! "Son of a bitch, this can't happen! And if they think, if these provinces think that they are gonna allow gays to get married, we're gonna make a Bill of Rights amendment that says exactly what marriage is. Marriage is between a man and a women. Son of a bitch!" And I thought, "You're gonna make a Bill of Rights amendment, you shithead! What are you fucking thinking?"
It's a collection of extraordinary sentences and paragraphs and you're gonna go "Hooda hooda phlbbbb"?! Why not stick to the legislation that says that people have a right to health care, even if they DON'T HAVE A FUCKING DIME?!!!!!!!

Unbelievable. The reason that people don't believe gays should get married is because of what? The Bible, okay? And what book of the bible does that come from? The Old Testament. Who wrote the Old Testament? My people.... The Jews wrote the Old Testament, and then Christians come along and read it and they fuck it up from time to time. Because they don't come down to the Temple, do they? Look, there's a reason that it was written in the Bible, because it was written thousands and thousands and thousands of years ago, when we were savages at best. We were ten hairs away from being a baboon, for fuck sakes. Ya know, these people were out of control, so the elders of the village got together and came up with the idea of a God. And not the Christian God, who's kind of a loving God, no, we had a God: "I CAN SEE EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO AND I'M GONNA KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS!" Not really a happy God, kind of a god that seemed to be a raging alcoholic in a lot of ways."You wanna fight, asshole?!" And that's what they had to come up with, this mythical figure, ya know, that was present that could keep these people in line because they were crazy! They'd do anything! That's the way God is, God is everywhere.....and he sees everything you do, and if you fuck up, he knows it, and he will smoke you....

And that kind of got the message across. But then they needed rules, because alot of these guys were wandering in the desert, looking for shit. They'd be gone for days, and one would come back, and he'd have a camel with him. He'd go to the elder and say, "I met her in the desert. She looked at me in a special way, and I love her. Will you marry us?" And the elder goes, "Look in the Bible, you fucking idiot! See what it says? Marriage is between a man and a woman, and that's it! If you think that you're gonna marry this camel, God's gonna GET YOU. And the guy's crest fallen, because he's in love. So the elders said, "well, okay, marry a woman, but keep the camel on the side."

That's what I'm afraid of, thousands and thousands of years from now if we have that Bill of Rights amendment, someone will come along and unearth our culture, look at the Bill of Rights and read it and go "Wow!" Then get to the part that says marriage is between a man and a woman, they'll go, "Look at this! Canada, those people were so fucked up, that they actually had to write down what marriage was so they could remember it!"

And so I watched the Janet Jackson dancers, and thought of all of that. Because I was afraid if I kept my focus on them, I would have a breakdown.